Friday, April 24, 2015

Surviving

I survived another hurdle. I found a job but not the one that I really want to do. 

Again, I am confused of what I want to do with my life. Or maybe I really know what I want to do with my life but I just don't have the courage to do it.  What I want I really want to do with my life will not make me financially stable and I am more frightened not have instability in my life than doing the one thing I am passionate about. 

I wish I can win 1,000,000.00 then work on a job that I really care about and become a philantropist.  New age thinking says if you think and focus on it, you can attract the universe and it can happen.  So why not try it and see what happens. 

Sometimes, I want to do something stupid with my life. Go to another new country that I have not been to and find work there.  I have lived in my secondary home for 5 years now and I just feel it its time to move on to the next journey. 

I want to explore, study again and share all my experiences when I go back home to my origin country.  But I hope I can live long enough to do that. 

I feel like I have wasted 20 years of my life trying to find financial security and getting stuck with a job that I really don't enjoy. I hope I can find people who have similar views like me and was able to move beyond their fears. 

I need to find direction. 

SAM