New country. New environment. New people to live with and share your life.
Was it worth it? Leaving my comfort zone to an unknown territory. I have always been adventurous and I always thought of myself as an explorer. I like being in new places, learning culture, meeting new people and finding out what makes them tick, getting to know their motivation.
How long ago when I first left my country? 5 and half years ago. And now a year in the second country.
My life is like a roller coaster of experiences, so much ups and downs. Sometimes I want to be high and forget about the world, to be numb so I would not have to care.
I am in a new country but I keep committing the same mistakes in relationships. Why can't I get it right? What is wrong with me? Why can't I be normal like the rest of the world?
So hard being bipolar and people cannot understand why you react in a certain way.
I do care what people say about me even I keep telling others that I don't care. What others think of me, affects me. It eats up my soul to the point that I get suffocated in my own thoughts and paranoia.
I cannot help feeling sorry about myself. Wish it was easy like counting 1 - 5 with your eyes closed and when you open them things will get better. The world will be happy, I will be happy.
I know I can survive this country, I can surpass the challenges, the negative experiences. But until when will I be patient with myself?
I really don't know. Just need to live one day at time until I get better.
SAM
Was it worth it? Leaving my comfort zone to an unknown territory. I have always been adventurous and I always thought of myself as an explorer. I like being in new places, learning culture, meeting new people and finding out what makes them tick, getting to know their motivation.
How long ago when I first left my country? 5 and half years ago. And now a year in the second country.
My life is like a roller coaster of experiences, so much ups and downs. Sometimes I want to be high and forget about the world, to be numb so I would not have to care.
I am in a new country but I keep committing the same mistakes in relationships. Why can't I get it right? What is wrong with me? Why can't I be normal like the rest of the world?
So hard being bipolar and people cannot understand why you react in a certain way.
I do care what people say about me even I keep telling others that I don't care. What others think of me, affects me. It eats up my soul to the point that I get suffocated in my own thoughts and paranoia.
I cannot help feeling sorry about myself. Wish it was easy like counting 1 - 5 with your eyes closed and when you open them things will get better. The world will be happy, I will be happy.
I know I can survive this country, I can surpass the challenges, the negative experiences. But until when will I be patient with myself?
I really don't know. Just need to live one day at time until I get better.
SAM
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